Home Cooked: Why Does Cooking For Yourself Feel So Satisfying?

Home Is Where The Heart Is Or The Kitchen Is The Heart Of The Home

Every time I step into the kitchen to cook meal prep for the up coming weeks, I get a little excited. The atmosphere is soothing, with music playing quietly in the background while I’m burning a candle and the lights are dimmer than usual. The setting is cozy, warm and inviting. This is my image of what the Danes call, Hygge. Not to mention all of the delicious meals I make!

And there’s also a similar feeling when I cook dinner with my family on Friday family dinner night. It’s a little different, we all pitch in and lend a hand so the pressure isn’t all on me to get it done. But the feelings of creating something tasty together are the same, with the added bonus of good conversation. The music still plays in the background while a candle is burning, adding the “cozy” or Hygge to the night’s event. All in all a great experience.

So I wasn’t all that surprised when I came across this article on “The Good News Network” about how taking a cooking class has a magic pill like effect on our physical and mental well-being. This was great news, and collaborated on what I was already feeling about the experience. It got me thinking about what are the elements that come together to make a house a home? And how do we create those elements for ourselves? I’ve got a few ideas on the matter. Let me show you what I’ve come up with.

The Basic Elements Of A Cozy Home Start In The Kitchen

As I’ve said above, there are a few important components to building a comfortable, inviting home. For me, the number one element is cleanliness. If my living space isn’t organized and clean, then my mind isn’t able to rest. I keep focusing on the different aspect of what’s bothering me, what’s out of place.

For example, if my bedside table isn’t clear of clutter, I feel ill-at-ease. When things feel like they are just kind of drifting around my living space without a home, that’s when I know I need to organize.

Clean, Not Sterile

And that’s not to say that I’m so obsessed with cleaning that my environment is sterile. I’ve known people who clean to the point of sterility and this carries with it almost the same ill-at-ease feelings that living in a messy or dirty environment brings.

A good example of this is that when I make my bed, I don’t pull my covers taut over my mattress. I have a neatly folded duvet on the left side of my bed and I only sleep on the right side of my mattress. So making my bed proper would take a considerable amount of time. And this is time I just don’t want to spend making my bed.

So instead, I loosely lay my blanket on top of the side of the bed I sleep on. So my bed never looks neat and tidy as a bed with tightly formed hospital corners would. Instead it has a neat yet lived in feel. As though the room is thoughtfully cared for, but still embodies the character of something that’s been utilized, loved. Clean but not perfect. And all this to say that living in a sterile environment isn’t ideal.

How Clean Is Your Kitchen? You Can Usually Tell By The State Of Your Cutting Board

I use the same methodology when it comes to cleaning and caring for my kitchen. And the same way some people feel about making your bed every morning after you wake, I feel about cleaning my cutting board after I’m done with it.

The kitchen is where we spend a lot of time in our homes. It houses most all of our nutritional needs. We create or favorite meals there and it’s the place where we get clean water from. For staying hydrated throughout the day or to clean with, water the plants, the kitchen is literally where life is sustained.

So it stands to reason that if you neglect this room of your house, you are neglecting a large part of who you are as a living being. Food is so integral to us bonding with one another, as well as connected to our own and exploring other cultures, that it’s hard to imagine a life void of this type of expression.

For me, this is most noticeable on the cutting board. The cutting board is the hub of the kitchen and where almost every aspect of our meals come together. We process almost all our foods on it, use it as a holding place for most all our ingredients while getting our recipes prepped for cooking and it is paired with arguably the most important tool in the kitchen, our knife.

For these reasons, when I step up to my cutting board and see a stain from a recently cut tomato on it, or crumbs from a cut sandwich or piece of toast, I think, “what type of animal would disrespect the kitchen in this way?” This is hyperbole, but when I see a dirty cutting board I feel that there’s a little bit of neglect happening when it comes to respecting the ways we nourish and care for ourselves. Also, I don’t want to cut a fresh piece of melon on a spot where an onion and some garlic were recently diced/minced. Garlicy honeydew, no thank you.

Also, I’ve recently been oiling my cutting board and it’s never looked better. If you have the means, or already have a wooden cutting board, I suggest you get one and/or oil it regularly. It protects the board from water damage while also giving it a warm glow that looks amazing.

My cutting board after some much needed maintenance.

How Organized Are You? It Matters

Organization is an important part of the experience as well. For the same reasons that I feel ill-at-ease in cluttered surroundings, when I’m not sure where my kitchen tools or ingredients are, or have foods that are past their expiration date, I feel as though I’m neglecting an important part of my life.

For example, I work at a family homeless shelter six days a month. A few weeks ago I decided to organize the kitchen cabinets. I jumped right in and took a look at the state of the cabinets before I started. It was pretty bad. It looked like a bomb had gone off in the cabinets, scattering food debris all over the shelves in no particular order. I opened one cabinet to find that it was housing three plates. That was it. Not to mention all the food that was expired that I ended up tossing.

So I started asking the families what they would use more of if I brought food stuffs up from the pantry? Their answers? The most common one was, “I don’t eat the food from here”. This made me sad. We had neglected the food and kitchen so badly that people no longer wanted to use the incredible amount of free resources we had for them. And there was a lot of food that needed to be utilized.

And I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to cook in that kitchen the way it was either. And they’re not any less deserving of a clean, usable kitchen just because they’re homeless. That’s when I got to work. Tossing the old, out of date items and filling the cabinets with fresh stores, the way they’re displayed in a grocery. While I was organizing, I left the cabinets open to not only to keep track of my progress, but also to show the families that we have items for them to use, so jump in.

When I was done stocking the cabinets, everyone was excited. Even those who said they didn’t eat the food there were interested and using what I was bringing up. The kitchen now looks clean and inviting, more home like. And people are now gathering in the kitchen, cooking meals and connecting. The kitchen no longer resembles that of a twenty-something’s party house that maybe had a bag of stale chips and a can of dated beef stew, with a sink full of week old dishes. No bueno.

Rotating Your Stock to Stay Organized, Fresher Is Better

Next on the agenda was to take care of the root of the problem, the pantry. While I was going through the pantry to find goods for the cabinets, I was startled by how many food items had met their expiration dates. There were bins of half opened cases of food with expiration dates later than some unopened cases. Whole cases of canned goods and other items were past date. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

I went through each item, checked their date and found a place for them on the shelves. I was rotating the stock, breaking down boxes, discarding the old, it was a dramatic shift.

I felt bad about throwing out some of the canned goods that were past their expirations by only a few months. This was because a quick google search tells me that they’re still viable usually for a year or two after the date on the can. But the more I thought about it, the more it felt like a psychological issue of using expired goods.

Imagine you’re in a homeless shelter. You have a mountain of problems and issues to get over and that’s not including taking care of your basic needs like doing your laundry, cleaning your living space and cooking meals. Also imagine that you have one or two children in tow, or are pregnant. Now it comes time to make dinner and you ask for a can of carrots because you don’t have a car to get to the closest grocery store which is only two miles away but a long walk for somebody with a child and arm loads of grocery bags. You get the carrots only to find that the expiration date is marked for nine months prior and you don’t want to dig around the cabinets that look as though an animal has nested in them. How do you feel then?

I’ve never been in that situation before, but I know for sure that it can’t be a good feeling. Feeling as though someone else feels that you’re not worth the effort of fresh food sounds like a difficult place to be. That’s why organizing and rotating your food stores is so important to feeling a sense of ease and comfort in your kitchen. For me, knowing that I can grab anything off the shelf and use it without worrying about whether it’s turned is an act of self-care.

Creating Hygge, Bringing It All Together

Once You’ve brought all the elements of the physical space together, then it will be easy to bring friends and family together, while adding the final touches to the space. I usually have a candle and some music playing while I’m bring meals together. The soft lighting from the candle and soothing sounds help to bring an element of calm to the kitchen and allows me to slow down a bit and relax.

All that’s left is to find what makes your space, more you. Maybe you have a favorite drink you can prepare for yourself to help unwind. Do you use a diffuser? Find a scent you enjoy and fill your space with. My go to is lavender oil. It brings a soothing quality to the room while not overpowering what I’m cooking.

And don’t forget the conversation! Invite a few friends over or start a family dinner night. This can be a great time to connect and get to know each other a little better while creating new memories. And don’t forget to relax. Go slow and take your time. There’s no rush and there’s something to be said for enjoying the process. I usually do just this when I’m cooking my self-care dinner on Tuesday nights now. You’ll def feel better about yourself and your surroundings. Peace : ) and thanks for reading.

Image Credits: “Day 69: Inspiration” by protoflux is marked with CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

So Fresh, So Clean: Natural Cleaners to Keep Your Home Tidy (And Smelling Great:)

I was looking up ways to make my own yoga mat spray a few days ago and finally landed on this video from Yoga with Adrienne. She uses witch hazel and essential oils to make her spray and I thought, “I should be taking this off the mat”. Maybe not that spray exactly, but I’m sure there are ways I could be making eco-friendly cleaners for my house.

I’m already using household items such as baking soda and vinegar to do some of my more thorough cleaning. So naturally I was wondering what else I could substitute for some of the harsher chemicals amongst my cleaning supplies. In the following, I’ll be going over some products, their cleaning properties and a few recipes to utilize these ingredients. Hopefully helping you to make the more natural selection for your cleaning choices.

The Usual, Unusual Suspects

The Basics:

The following is a short list of basic cleaning ingredients you can use to start making your own natural household cleansers.

Vinegar: This is a basic and one of the heavy hitters in your cleaning arsenal. It’s slightly acidic which makes it great for breaking down stains and when mixed with other ingredients in this list, such as baking soda, it’s a great tool for cleaning up tough dirt and grime around the house.

Baking Soda: Sodium bicarbonate has long been used to absorb odors and clean messy surfaces. And when mixed with vinegar, not only does it do a thorough job of cleaning up messes by acting as a mild abrasive, but it also leaves behind what amounts to saltwater. How much more natural can a cleaner be 🙂

Lemons: Speaking of natural, this article from A Taste of Home says that lemons are a natural disinfectant and due to their acidic nature, are great at fighting stains. You can use them on anything from disinfecting your compost bucket to cleaning wood surfaces mixed with a little vinegar, warm water and castile soap.

Castile Soap: Castile is a soap made from vegetable oils. This article from Very Well Health says it’s safe enough to use as on your produce while also being able to be utilized as an all purpose cleaner as well. This versatile soap is cheap while being safe and effective on just about everything from shaving cream to washing your dishes. Pretty impressive for a simple soap.

Salt: Bacteria and other forms of microscopic life aren’t able to live under the harsh conditions that salt creates. So bacteria and viruses aren’t able to grow or survive on its surface. It can also be used as an abrasive while cleaning. And don’t you just feel cleaner when you get out of the ocean after a soak?

The Essential Oils:

Below I’ll be listing a few of my go-to oils for cleaning and listing their basic properties. Not only will these oils leave your home smelling fresh, but they also have antibacterial and antiseptic qualities as well as other cleansing characteristics that will keep your home clean and bacteria free.

Tea Tree: This industrious oil covers a lot of ground. As well as being known as a fungicide it’s also an antimicrobial, antibiotic and antiseptic. It has a strong pine like scent and can be overpowering if you use to much, so be sparing.

Lavender: Lavender oil not only has a soothing effect on our emotional states, but it also acts as an anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, antiseptic and disinfectant. This oil has soothing floral notes, subtle and airy with a shade of green.

Lemon: Here’s another citrusy oil that’s packed full of cleansing properties. It’s most common trait may be of disinfectant, but it’s also effective for its bactericidal attributes, as well as antiseptic, anti-fungal, and antibacterial. Plus it smells great to boot!

Eucalyptus: This oil has equally as many cleaning properties. Some of which are, anti-inflammatory, decongestant, antibacterial, antibiotic and antiviral. It’s no wonder it’s one of the most used ingredients in cough drops. One whiff will clear your senses with its slightly mentholated scent.

These are only a few of the oils that are available to use for cleaning purposes. I referenced Lather Lass for this short list of cleaning characteristics of different oils. But there are about 150 listed on their site and worth taking a look at if you’re interested in learning more.

Some Recipes

Now that we’ve gathered the essentials, here are a few recipes to utilize them in your cleaning routines. The recipes are pretty basic, which is good knowing that you don’t need to be a chemist to naturally and effectively clean your house.

All Purpose Cleaner: Let’s start with a basic. An all purpose cleaner that is safe for most all surfaces is a simple combination of water to 1 teaspoon of castile soap. Pour them into a 16oz spray bottle, put the lid on and shake. This cleaner should be safe on wood, tile, metal, glass and painted surfaces. For an extra boost of antibacterial or anti-mold cleaning properties, try adding lemon or tea tree oil to your cleaner. Or both! about 10 drops of each should be sufficient. If you use lemon, you’ll also be disinfecting as well!

Bathroom Cleaner: This combination of 3 parts water, 1 part vinegar, 1 teaspoon of castile soap and 10 drops of lavender oil, does a thorough job of cleaning all the crevasses that could be harboring bacteria in the bathroom. Thanks to the acidic nature of the vinegar and the disinfecting properties of the lavender, your bathroom will not only be spotless, but have a soothing scent as well.

Baking Soda & Vinegar: Baking soda is a base and vinegar is an acid. when the two are combined, they create a chemical reaction that is a powerful cleanser. Baking soda can be used on its own as an abrasive. And the acid in the vinegar works to dissolve the stain, breaking it down and allowing it to be washed away. You can use this cleaner on tough stains in the kitchen, bathroom or anywhere you find stubborn areas that accumulate dirt. For example, it could be used to remove stains on the wall next to your coffee maker. Or that dingy area in your bathtub that doesn’t seem to lift no matter what you throw at it.

Simple Cleaning Hacks

Using these simple ingredients above, you can clean most everything in your house. Below I’ll be listing a few ways of incorporating them in your cleaning routine to make your place shine. Let’s start in the bathroom.

Bathroom:

You can use baking soda to clean your toilet bowl by putting a cup of the powder in the bowl and scrubbing it with a toilet brush. The abrasive properties of the soda will scrub your bowl clean.

And to remove tough soap scum from your bathtub or kitchen sink, make a paste with baking soda and a little bit of water, rub it into the dirty areas of your wash bins, around the bottom where the tub may be a little discolored from the soap scum buildup. Then rinse with vinegar and let the two foam and dissolve while cleaning as it dissipates. This should leave your surfaces refreshed and sparkling.

If you’re interested to go a little deeper in your bathroom, this article from Real Simple has a great layout of how to clean it from top to bottom using natural cleaners. And it’s where I learned how to clean your toilet bowl with baking soda. Def a recommended read.

Kitchen:

The kitchen is where I spend a lot of time cooking, cleaning and just plain living. So naturally this room has a high priority on my cleaning list. These simple tricks will leave your kitchen looking its best.

If you have a large, wooden cutting board on your countertop, try sprinkling it with coarse salt and using the cut half of a lemon to scrub the board clean. The lemon and salt help to disinfect the board while the salt also acts as an abrasive to scrub tiny bits of stuck on food off. The lemon also lifts odors left over from veggies like onions or garlic. Leaving your board fresh and clean.

If you use cast iron in your kitchen, salt can help to get rid of some of the tougher bits of burnt on food on your pan. You can also use a wooden spoon, or they also make bamboo scrapers for just this purpose. rubbing the pan with salt to lift the rest of the oils and food debris while wiping it down with some olive oil will help you to avoid having to wash your pan with soapy water, which could strip the pan of it’s seasoning and do damage to your pan. Also, FYI never leave your cast iron pan soaking in water! They will most definitely rust and it will happen much more quickly than you expect.

Speaking of soapy water, you can use castile soap to wash your dishes. Mixing them with either lemon or eucalyptus oils to help disinfect while you scrub. Win, win.

General cleaning:

If you have hardwood floors, it can be difficult to get the dirt that builds up in the corners of heavily trafficked areas. By using warm water and vinegar, you can loosen the ground in dirt from shoes and general use that slowly builds up. It will also leave your floors looking refreshed. It may take a few passes so be patient, and don’t forget the elbow grease! Perhaps one of the best cleaning tools in our belts ; )

For cleaner air, try burning a beeswax candle. The wax releases negatively charged ions into the air, which attach themselves to positively charged particles like dust and pollutants. So the candle is literally cleaning the air you breath while it burns.

And finally, this isn’t necessarily a cleaning hack, but it helps to make me feel more at home. Using an essential oil diffuser can help to create a calming atmosphere to match your clean house. One of the elements for me that makes a house, feel more like a home. A friend of mine’s mother puts essential oils in her vacuum air filter. So while she’s vacuuming, she’s also freshening the air, leaving the room feeling a bit cleaner.

There are loads more cleaning tips out there for sure. If you have any that you swear by, I’d love to hear about them in the comments section below. Cleaning isn’t always easy to do. Especially if you already have a full schedule and responsibilities that need your attention. But a well maintained house is satisfying in its own right.

Being organized in your surroundings, helps you to bring order to what’s happening inside as well. So burn a candle, put some music on, grab a cup of herbal tea or a glass of wine and appreciate what you’ve done for yourself. After all, cleaning your surroundings is another way to practice self-care. Peace, and thanks for reading : )

Image Credits: “Dishes Cleaning supplies” by wuestenigel is marked with CC BY 2.0.

Living Your Life: You Gotta Do Your chores

As I’ve said in earlier posts, I’m currently living with one of my childhood caregivers. This wasn’t an easy decision to make, but it’s one where I didn’t have a lot of other options to choose from. All in all it’s been a good decision. We’ve gotten a second chance to reconnect and learn what it means to be a family. So with that in mind, the subject of this blog post wasn’t in the initial outlined plan, but it certainly fits with the theme of this series of posts and is one that I’ve come to realize after cohabitating with people I’ve come to rely on in our living space. After all, taking care of your living space is essential to your overall happiness and speaks a great deal to how we feel about ourselves.

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy when I’ve been in my bathroom. I wasn’t entirely sure why at first, but as the weeks went by I couldn’t help but to notice that the unease I was feeling would not subside. The bathroom has been left unfinished for many years now and that has something to do with the feeling, but there was something more to it than that. Something that was growing more tangible with each visit.

So last week I decided that the bathroom needed new bath mats. I made a plan to go to a local home furnishings store and get a few to replace the ones already in use, after my shift at work. As I was going to the store, during my commute home, I made plans to clean the bathroom after getting the new mats. I wanted the feeling of walking into a freshly cleaned bathroom, crisp and new, after I was done with cleaning it. So when I got home from the store, I lighted a pine tree scented candle, rolled up my sleeves and got to the task of cleaning my bathroom.

It was dirty. I had swept up a sizeable hairball from all the dust that had accumulated for however long, maybe the size of a salad bowl, and the shower curtains were in the same shape as the bathmats. It was in such bad shape that the plastic lining was flaking off and the bottom was discolored from the mold that was lining it. The plunger was cracked and the cabinets needed a good purging as well. It was at that point I realized that the bathroom looked an awful lot like one of the bathrooms in my first apartments and that’s what was making me feel so uneasy.

To give you some context as to what my bathrooms used to look like, there was a constant layer of mold on and around the bathtub, sink and floor. There was trash plastered to the floor and walls, and the floor was missing pieces of tile in strategic places showing the subflooring. Once, for a period of about a month, maybe longer, there was vomit on the wall from one night where I ate a whole pizza, then got into a shot contest where I took a shot of tequila that had a cigarette butt in it. Let’s just say I missed the intended receptacle.

This was a shock for sure. Everyone in the house is an adult, we should be on top of this type of thing. The bathroom wasn’t in as bad shape as my early apartments were, but sadly, things had been left unattended by pretty much everyone. We had been treating our living space the ways we had been treated, with neglect instead of care.

Not only that, but we were shirking the shared sense of responsibility of keeping something alive, the household. We were collectively avoiding cleaning as one way to make our house feel more like a home. There are other things that bring people together to feel more connected as a family as well. Such as shared experiences and meals to name a few, but making your living space a place you want to be in, surrounded by things and a feeling of cleanliness, is a huge part of feeling at home. Comfortable. This is what we were missing from our shared time together. A feeling of shared responsibility and comfort in knowing that we are taking care of one another by taking care of our dwelling.

After I made this realization, I shared it with my childhood caregiver and their spouse, and it all started making much more sense to me. I had been feeling as though I wasn’t really part of the family. There were only certain areas of the house I felt comfortable in. My bedroom and the kitchen being two of them, and the rest felt like it was off limits. Add the fact that we are all too polite to ask one another to do something for one another, like helping clean the bathroom, and you have a pretty cold environment. One definitely hostile towards forming tight bonds.

The act of buying something for the house, even something so small as a couple of bath mats, or a basil scented candle for the kitchen, made me feel more secure as a member of the family. I felt as though I were trying to create a more home-like environment by taking care of those I live with, while also taking care of my own needs. And I have to say, it feels good.

I also spoke with them about putting candles in the bathroom for when I shower at night. It’s a way I help myself to decompress from the stress of the day. But this is also a way for me to express myself and a part of my personality in our shared space. More ways of feeling connected on a more intimate level. We all felt more connected after the talk and the conversation flowed a little more freely. They agreed that they had been a little lax about some of the cleaning responsibilities and I agreed I could have been doing more to help out.

So I decided to make doing chores more of a routine. The same way I meal prep for myself, I am creating a schedule and a general maintenance list for the house. This way we can create our home together, by sharing the work of caring for each other by caring for our shared spaces.

I divided the house into two parts, with the two most important rooms in the house as focal points. The first is the upstairs, with the focus being in the bathroom. The second part being the kitchen and downstairs. I will switch off doing these two parts every week with someone else in the house, and the alternate week will be the time where I’ll do the part previously undone the week before and someone else will do the part I had previously done.

With any luck, the house will begin to feel more like a warm and welcoming place. One where we want to create memories and cook meals in together, instead of the cold and somewhat distant place it has been for so long. We will learn to rely on each other, and feel comfortable just inhabiting our shared space together. We’ll start feeling like a family again. Only a healthy version. One without the untrusting attitudes and unhealthy boundaries we had previously been used to. Let’s get into the “how” in what I did to create a sense of shared responsibility among the household.

I began with a quick mental checklist of what needs cleaning in the house. I started with the two most important areas of the house (for me) and radiated out from there. The two rooms I chose are the bathroom and the kitchen. After I chose these rooms, I created two zones in the house around these rooms that could be cleaned and cared for in one cleaning session that would last maybe one to two hours, depending on the level of clutter or mess.

I then went through the zone, and took down another list of the specific tasks that need doing. For example, the bathroom zone needed to be cleared of general clutter, dusted, the bathtub and toilet needed a scrubbing and the floor needed a sweep and mop. Then the hallway just outside the bathroom needed to be swept and vacuumed, and the stairway needed to be swept and dusted as well.

After making these more specific lists of tasks, I now have a jumping off point where I can start cleaning. So when each week comes around, we have a set routine where we know what needs to be taken care of and how to approach the job.

This past week I spent a good portion of time doing a deep clean of the two most important rooms in the house. I didn’t get to all the tasks on my mental checklist, but the job definitely feels more manageable, knowing that I’ve already done the more labor and time intensive tasks. Now when we begin our cleaning routine, it will be that much easier to keep up with. As long as we keep up with the tasks, there shouldn’t be an overwhelming amount of work to do. This may not make the work a joy to do, but it will make the tasks a little easier to accomplish. But if you’re like me, I get a little excited about the idea of cleaning and organizing something. So who knows, maybe it will spark some joy : )

I’ve also started a list of general maintenance items that need to be done around the house as well. This includes items that need to be replaced or small jobs that need our attention. For example, I put a list of items I need to replace for both the bathroom and general cleaning supplies for the house. This way we can keep our place looking and feeling as clean and organized as possible while keeping on top of the tasks and items we need to pick up.

This also has the added bonus of allowing us to bond as a family by planning trips to the local hardware store. Also making a collective effort to add input on what we feel needs attention. If you are anything like we are, you may find that after you do a deep clean and organize some of your belongings, that you have an embarrassing amount of extra or duplicate items that you may not have touched in months or years. This would be a good time to take stock of what you do have, what you use, how often you use it, and what you could you do without.

For us, we have two sets of pots, one brand new and the other just sitting around waiting to be recycled or donated. The initial plan was to get rid of them, but they are still around, haunting or living space. This wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t taking up valuable cabinet space. I like to view extra items in the kitchen, the same way I view unintended plants in the garden. Sure you may have a tomato plant that sprang up in the eggplant bed, but if it’s not an eggplant, then it’s a weed. The old pots are still mostly functional, but we have a new set and planned on getting rid of the old ones. So in my book, the old ones are a weed.

I also have about 15-20 mason jars collecting dust on our shelves. I got them to store my dry goods in. But if you’ve read my post on shopping from your pantry first, you’ll know that the food I bought mostly just sat around in these jars for months, if not years! They looked good all lined up in their storage containers, but they were definitely being underutilized. As I’ve been shopping from my pantry first, I’ve been freeing up a lot of space since I haven’t been replacing the items, and have ended up with an awful lot of empty mason jars.

I use them to store the meals that I batch cook in, but there are only so many meals I can store in the fridge at one time. The rest need to either be repurposed, or recycled. And this isn’t always an easy task to do. I know I’ve developed some sentimental attachments to inanimate objects over the years. And it seems the longer you have an item around, the fonder you become of it! I feel like this is where it enters your comfort zone. You’re just so used to seeing it around, that you recognize it as one of the family.

And of course this is a little different for some items over others. Such as, you wouldn’t want to throw away a pan your grandmother gave you that she made your favorite brownies in. But in the end, things are just that, things. Besides, it’s not the pan that you love, it’s the memories of your Nana’s brownies. But tossing a peanut butter jar you used to store tea in is a no-brainer. Marie Condo is a great resource for just this type of letting go. If it sparks joy, keep it and use it lovingly. If not, thank it for its service in supporting you in your life and donate it or let it go.

This should work to make your living space a more inviting dwelling for everyone. One where you’ll enjoy the time spent in it, together. And as a friend of mine said, we attuning to each other, by paying attention to each other’s surroundings. This is how you build the foundations of a caring family. This is where we really begin to understand what it means to be together, united.

I hope this post serves you on your path. It isn’t always an easy task, coming together to make something, from what sometimes seems like out of nothing. But when people, friends and family all chip in and lend a helping hand, it’s amazing what we are able to accomplish. Peace : ) and thanks for reading.

Image Credits: “Amelia Cleaning” by donnierayjones is licensed under CC BY 2.0

The Ghosts in Our Pockets: How Sorting Through Your Music Collection May Help to Lay Some Spirits to Rest

My Massive Music Collection

As I’ve mentioned in the past few weeks, I’ve been doing some early spring cleaning. I started with my clothes, then moved into the kitchen and my pantry. Both places were filled with loads of neglected feelings. So when I shifted my focus to my music collection, I sort of knew what to expect.

It started when I was looking at my playlists. I was thinking I needed to change things up a bit. So I was looking for something to listen to when I came across the number of liked songs I have. When I realized the number was close to 8,000 songs I kinda freaked out a little. I literally had thousands of songs at my fingertips and I couldn’t find anything to listen too!? This was a staggering revelation for me.

So I decided to listen to the songs I have saved and maybe cut back some, use better discretion instead of liking songs all willy nilly. This seems like an unreasonable feat to achieve, but the idea of having a manageable music library was appealing. So I began my journey, sorting through my massive music collection.

Overwhelmed But Digging in

I was pretty excited at first and things were going smoothly. In the first four or five days I sorted through maybe a thousand songs. Most of which were whole albums I saved under the assumption that I would revisit them at a later date. To explore new music and have a broader selection to choose from. But instead, they lay in my library waiting for the day to come when I would suddenly remember that song I heard at work three years ago while I was busy doing some other task thinking, “hmm, this is nice, I’ll listen to the album later.”

Sadly, those days are few and far between. Though the more I listened to the songs, the more I remember the times and places I was when I first heard them. I’ve since begun organizing tracks into different playlists, corresponding with different moods and times in my life. So if I’m feeling nostalgic for my early twenties, I have a playlist to keep me company.

The Ghosts in My Music Library

I suppose what I was most worried about was coming across a song or an album that would trigger some feelings of anxiety. Or brush up against some traumatic experiences I’ve been through in my musical history. After all, the main way I learned to relate to my emotions was through music. I know I’m not alone in this and that’s one of the reasons why music is in the very fabric of most, if not all cultures. Music is important.

Not all Ghosts are Scary

I guess this is why I thought I’d find it to be an emotionally draining task. I’m still in the midst of the sorting process. I’m down to about 4,500 songs and the more I sort them, the better I feel about the music I’m listening to. It feels a little more intimate. Knowing that instead of blindly liking whole albums, when I open my library I’m instead greeted by carefully curated songs and albums that reminds me of a time and place. Or a mood I’m in.

And I’m finding that my musical taste is changing. It’s a living, breathing part of me and still a dimension of how I relate to my emotions. I may have traded the gritty New York rap for some singer-songwriter folk. But the feelings and how I relate to them are similar.

Even some of the songs and albums I listened to when I was dealing with the worst of my emotional neglect and self-abandonment didn’t bring up the same feelings of fear and anxiety that I thought they would. I don’t listen to them as often as I had, which may be why I’m feeling les anxious. I’m not constantly reinforcing the negative messages the songs and albums were conveying on repeat as I once had. But they helped me to get through a time and place in my life when I felt submerged in them.

Music as Catharsis, a Guide

And there’s something cathartic about being in the primal feelings while they’re happening, and knowing that someone else has been there too. Maybe that’s part of the process of moving through the feelings. Listening to someone guide you through their experience of it. There’s also an aspect of feeling lighter after having sorting through the music and their corresponding feelings. As though my music collection isn’t loaded and waiting for me to haplessly go off and inflict damage.

But there are also times where I feel I may be going too fast. As though I’m sorting and discarding songs for the sake of throwing things away. And it’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy of, “out with the old and in with the new”. Especially if you’ve been living in the past through your music collection. But as I mentioned above, sometimes it’s nice to revisit those memories that were joyful. And remembering a time and place through music can be a soothing way of doing that. As Marley said, “one good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain.”

Go slow and Enjoy the Results

When this feeling comes on, the worry about losing a large portion of my emotional language, I know it’s time to slow down a little. After all I’m looking to bring a sense of ease to and around my music library, not more stress. Another reason for not rushing this process is it took me a life’s time worth of listening and experiences to accumulate this collection. To think I can sort through it with any degree of sensitivity to my emotional needs in a short period of time seems unreasonable.

Be mindful About Your Playlists

And now I’m looking forward to the songs and artists I’ll discover. I’ve started a playlist, “Music to Look into” where I put songs I hear when at work or out somewhere. This way, instead of liking an entire album and not remembering which song I liked, followed by burying it in my music library never to be seen again, I have the one song I liked in a playlist. Then I can revisit and decide if I want to explore the artist or album some more.

We listen to music because we enjoy it. If we leave our libraries unattended, we may be avoiding some of the emotional energy we have tied up in the songs of our pasts. If you’re finding yourself in a musical rut, it may be time to go through your own library. Freeing up some space may give you the room to expand your appreciation of what you already have as well as what may be waiting for you to find. Peace, and thanks for reading :]

Image Credits: “CFBX Music Library” by cogdogblog is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Updated: 7/31/22

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