Category: Neglect

Cultivating Joy, Cultivating Friendships

When I was a teenager, I had no idea how to sustain friendships. This is not hyperbole. I literally did not have healthy friendships modeled for me, and the friendships I did have were with people who were experiencing the same amount of strain or trauma in their personal life as I was. We were all just trying to figure it out without any guidance to show us the way. So, we hurt each other. A lot.

But even with the hurts we were blindly injuring one another with, we still managed to find some lasting and comforting forms of companionship. As I’m writing this, I’m waiting for a friend at a local coffee shop. Someone I’ve known since high school. We’ve managed to stay friends through the years. Through college, career changes, babies and marriages, we’re still a resource for one another.

But this hasn’t been the case with many of the people I once called friends. I’d like to explore some of what brings us together and how to keep these bonds healthy. How do we nurture the initial spark of friendship that brings us together, to last through the years? Let’s start with the spark, and see where it takes us.

What Makes a Friendship?

I’ve said this before on this blog, that Jay-Z’s line, “real recognize real and you lookin’ familiar” has a spark of truth in it for me when it comes to describing a friendship. What I like about it is, that I think we recognize what’s familiar in one another’s experiences and circumstances. We see that we’re in the middle of something that looks familiar to us, and are drawn to one another. I suppose as a way to support each other while we try to figure it out. Two heads are better than one, as they say : ) ( :

We’re mirroring each other in a way. And I believe this brings us comfort. Because seeing someone else succeed helps give us the confidence to succeed. And if we fail, we have each other as support. Someone who can show us the positive in us while we’re busy beating ourselves up for not succeeding. And if you’re like me, you are beating yourself up quite a bit.

So having another around to help show us that we’re human, and bound to make mistakes, is helpful in keeping us more grounded and balanced. For me, it has been invaluable to have that kind of friendship. The one that tells me I’m “killin’ it”, while I’m paying back my student loans after cutting back to only working one job. This friend was also in debt until recently. We are both here for each other, cheering one another on while we work to achieve our goals. And that’s a great feeling. Feeling support from someone who knows how difficult it can be.

Maintaining a Lasting Connection

This was the difficult part for me. It was fairly simple finding people who were/are in similar situations to my own. But keeping the friendship alive was a mystery to me. What I’ve come to realize is, that we were all just surviving, and not able to think past our immediate circumstances. This lead to somewhat superficial connections.

I was so concerned with when the next panic attack was going to come, that I didn’t have the bandwidth to make plans for the future. Nor did I have the foresight to do the basics. Such as putting close friends’ birthdays in my calendar. I was just drifting from day to day without any plan or goal in mind, playing video games and drinking to numb my experience of what was happening to me. No bueno.

So, how did I change this? How did I go from just surviving to being an active role in my relationships? This took a lot of work. And it’s something I’m still working on. Let me show you what I’ve come up with for fostering friendships.

Make a List

I’m a list maker. I get a sense of joy and satisfaction just from organizing tasks, thoughts and events into a functional and attractive looking list. This is why I bullet journal. It gives me the right amount of art to organization ratio I need. So naturally, in order to stay in touch with those close to me, I’ve made a list.

This list is on my phone, and I’ve put various friends and relatives into four different groups of people. In the first group, are the people I check in with once a week. Then the following three groups are people that I check in with every three weeks, rotating through each group every week to make sure I don’t miss anyone. This way, I’m staying current with what’s happening in the people’s lives whom I care about.

Be Diligent

It also pays to be persistent as well. For example I was texting one person on my list for weeks with no response. This was kind of disheartening because this person is going through a lot of life events right now and I want to be a source of support for them. Then, during one phone call from his brother, I learned that he never responds to texts, (my preferred method of communication) only phone calls. So I called him the next day and low and behold he got right back to me with a text saying he was at work and is it important. That felt good. Like unlocking a puzzle.

Diligence has paid off with friendships for me in different ways too. I had definitely left many of my friendships to decay by simply neglecting them for a very long time. And I was a different person to most of the people who knew me before I changed. So rebuilding those connections wasn’t something that was a one and done deal. It took being persistent, but not pushy, and kind to those I was reaching out to. Hopefully letting them know that I’m not the ass I used to be.

But, this method worked. I’m now in regular communication with many of the people I was friends with from my past and I like to think that both our lives are richer for it. For example, a friend of mine that I used to cook with told me to Google search, “gross Jell-o molds” and it did not disappoint. My favorite was the ones with SpaghettiOs in them : P

Remember Your Shared Interests & Look for Experiences to Share

As far as the curriculum of friendships goes, planning events and then executing them might as well have been a trig class while I was still taking fundamentals of math. I’m an introvert, so doing things with others doesn’t come so naturally to me. I believe that in most of my romantic relationships, my partner was the one who was making plans for us. So during the seasons of my life where I’m on my own, I’ve had to find things and experiences to do, on my own.

What I’ve been trying to do is, when I think of something new or interesting that I’d like to get involved with, I scan my friendships to see who else might want to get involved. Then I shoot them a text to see if they’d like to join in. Again, this may seem obvious for many folks. But for us introverts, it’s a bit of a struggle to make that connection.

For example, I’ve been into thinking about my Polish heritage lately and am making my next self-care meal as an homage to Polish cuisine. There are a lot of mushrooms in Polish cooking so I found some recipes that looked satisfying. But the more I thought about mushrooms, the more fun I thought it would be to go foraging for some. I went once when I was a child, chanterelle picking in Vermont, and absolutely loved the experience. So I searched for foraging groups local to me then texted some people in my friend group who I would normally take hikes with. I thought combining the two, foraging and hiking was a perfect match.

If Your Friend Can’t Come to You Go to Them

If you’re like me, you’re pretty busy. Until recently I was working two jobs to pay off my student loans, and on the days I wasn’t working, which were few, I’d be cleaning and cooking for the week. This left me very little time for myself. But, I found the time to visit some of my friends who were equally as busy. Tending to our friendships was a priority for me. And I did this by getting creative with how we spent time together.

For example, one friend of mine worked at a local restaurant until recently. So on my nights off, I’d hop on the train and go visit with him while he was working. I’d grab a beer and a bite to eat while he sat behind the bar a told me about his goings on. His family and what’s been happening with him personally. It felt good catching up with him in this way. Seeing him in another light, another role. I feel like I know him better as a person now.

I have another friend who recently took a job at another local restaurant. We’ve been friends since grade school though we don’t get together very often. A couple friends of mine suggested that we go to his restaurant and visit while he bakes. A fun night out, catching up with old friends seems like a pleasant way to spend an evening : )

It’s also a good idea to be mindful of how much of yourself you’re giving in all of your friendships and be cognizant of your boundaries with them. If you find you are always doing for your friends, then maybe suggest a few changes to your rules of engagement. It’s no longer fun if it feels like a burden.

Take Risks

Also, it’s important to step outside your comfort zone. Building friendships isn’t always a walk in the park. There are going to be tough times as well as the good ones. And, sometimes meeting new people means expanding beyond what your comfortable with.

For example, a friend of mine called me out of the blue because she had tickets to a small venue to see a bluegrass band. It was on a day I had off, so I decided to go. I didn’t realize at the time that there would be close to eight of us going. If I had known I might not have gone. But I went, and had a great time. Also finding an amazing new venue for seeing music that I will be going back in the future for sure.

You are in Charge of Your Belonging

Connecting with others is risky sometimes. The pain of rejection, or being vulnerable around another is not something that is easily tolerated by many. Especially if you’ve experienced abuse or trauma. But it is necessary if we want to feel connection, or a sense of belonging. But don’t forget, you’re in charge.

It’s okay to go slow while reconnecting. That way, you’re taking care of yourself while taking the time in building your friendships. And also to take the time to know that they are healthy and genuine friendships. True friends are truly a blessing. Finding and cultivating these friendships is something that will bring us so much joy the more we tend to them. But we need to take the time to nurture them.

If you’ve found your relationships are less than fulfilling, maybe it’s time to inspect how you feel in your connections with and to others. Is the fear of pain greater than the value of your connection? If so, the relationship my be under strain. Maybe the strain of not feeling like you are totally accepted as who you are in the relationship for fear of being rejected. And being yourself is a large component of feeling genuine connection in our friendships.

So cultivate your friendships. And tend to them with a nurturing effort, and you’ll find joy in them. But also know who you are first. And true friends will help you to be the best version of yourself. Not expect you to change. Friendships aren’t always easy, but few things worth their while are. Be consistent and make your relationships a priority and they will yield feelings of comradery and joy. Peace & thanks for reading : )

Image Credits: “friendship” by bekassine… is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Cultivating Joy: Getting Cozy

Cozy is something that I’m learning to appreciate more and more as I age. I suppose this was what I was looking for when I would frequent bars. But cultivating cozy brings with it a sense of ease and joy. Now-a-days, I don’t search for my coziness pulled up on a bar stool. Now I’m surrounding myself with family members, friends, a clean or natural setting and a few creature comforts that engage the senses.

In the following, I’ll be going over some of the ways I cultivate cozy in my life. Why it’s so important to create these spaces as a refuge to feel safe and calm and refuel, if you’re an introvert like me. Also how to foster these spaces in your life. Getting cozy is also a great way to relieve stress and cultivate intimacy with those you love. So let’s jump in by slipping into something more comfortable.

Why the Need for More Coziness

There is a terrific amount of emphasis placed on being productive in American culture. I was reading Lee Iaccoca’s autobiography where he pointed this out with an astute observation. He explains, while talking about poor time management skills, how some business men will brag about working all year without taking a vacation. This is something I know to be true from my experience, of myself and those I’ve worked with.

Though I don’t work in the business sector, working ourselves too hard seems ubiquitous in American culture. It seems that everybody I know or meet has a second job to make ends meet. This leads to increased stress levels and less overall life satisfaction. I know in my family, we speak about working six to seven days a week with a sense of pride. I myself held two jobs for the past six years until recently. All in the name of paying down my student loans more quickly.

But all of this working lead me to feeling tired, anxious and unable to partake in the things and be with the people in my life, that bring me a sense of joy. No bueno. This is why it is so important to cultivate cozy in our lives as a direct response to all the tension and stress that we place on ourselves by pushing ourselves past what is healthy. So how do we do this? How do we create space in our lives for more cozy?

The Elements of Cozy

For me, I’ve found that it’s important to find what brings you a sense of ease, and tend to that. When you find something that sparks those feelings of being relaxed, take note of it and repeat those rituals or indulge in those things, but do it sparingly. For example, I’ve always been drawn to a well lighted room. Not in the sense that it is bright, more so that it has many sources of diffused lighting. Lending a softer feeling to the room. I love the flicker of candle light and the low glow from string lights. So I’ve incorporated these into my living space. Let’s take a look at some of the elements and how I’ve put them into practice.

1. Meals

Mealtime is an important one for me. Having worked in the food industry for most of my career and the negative reinforcement I received around my food consumption/weight, not to mention never being taught how to cook for or care for my nutritional needs, I suffered an awful lot when it came to my food intake. Luckily, this is an area I spent some considerable time reparenting myself around. It started when I decided to go veg.

I went vegan first, then switched to vegetarian. I did so for the health benefits, but mostly because, and I can’t remember where I heard this o don’t quote me on this, but if you eat vegan, you will naturally maintain a low body fat to high muscle ratio. Basically I wanted to look good naked. Now my new goal is to be healthy. To value being healthy over physical attraction. This is something I’m still struggling with a little.

But since I started taking care of my nutritional needs with a focus on my health, the quality of my meals has greatly increased. The food I prepare for my meals now is better than many restaurants I go to, and I’ve really learned to love the process. It helps that I also cook professionally. But when you’re making your favorite dish, engaging your senses in the process, something magic happens. Add a few friends or family to the mix and you have time well spent in cultivating cozy.

2. Cozy Space

This is essential for me, in maintaining a healthy headspace, mentally and emotionally. For me, it helps to know that I have a space that I can go to, that evokes a sense of ease and comfort. For me, this space is my room. It’s clean, has pieces and trinkets that remind me of my personality, smells good, has all the right ambient lighting and is cozy in all the ways that bring me a sense of feeling comfort.

This is especially important for unwinding from a stressful day or just time to recharge. If you’re introverted like I am, having downtime is essential to your mental health. Life gets hectic. Why not create a space that will bring you a sense of joy and well-being, just by being in it?

In creating your own space, try looking for what brings you joy just by looking at it. I enjoy the Boho vibe myself, but spend some time looking through photos on Pinterest or Instagram. Look for the images that bring you the most of joy, and see if you can replicate that in your space to cozy it up.

3. Cleanliness

Another element of cozy for me is having a clean living space. Really any space I spend a lot of time in, it’s beneficial for me for it to be clean and well taken care of. Because when you surroundings are in disorder, your inner space can feel the same way.

But sometimes we get busy. It’s not always easy to stay on top of our daily chores and cleaning duties. I try to set aside a day to get tasks like this done. One of my days is dedicated to food shopping, cooking and cleaning. This way I know I’ve set aside the time I’ll need to get done what needs my attention, while also enjoying the benefits of a clean living space.

Try assessing your surroundings and see where your space could use a little more attention. What is the state of your surroundings and are they as clean as you would like them to be? Do you have a regular cleaning schedule? What does your space look like when it’s in its ideal state of cleanliness? Try clearing some space in your schedule to find time for your own cleaning routine. Set aside a day like I have, to create a chores list, yes from when like you were a kid, and get down and dirty with your space. It’ll yield dividends in your happiness for sure : )

4. Creature Comforts

When I sit in my chair, with some music going and a cup of herbal tea, I feel more at ease. Add the ambient lighting I spoke about above, with my essential oil diffuser going and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. These small comforts are a big part of feeling more at ease in my space. Making the over all experience a more cozy one.

Again, this is a space where you need to find what you like. What are the small things in your day to day that bring you a sense of comfort? For me, living in New England, its cold in the winters and we being thrifty Yankees, set the thermostat to 64 degrees. So on the colder days, I have a few throw blankets and an electric heater by my side to warm things up a bit. Other wise I’d be freezing in my own house!

This is also a form of self expression. What scents do you like, and fill your space with those. It’s amazing how supported you can feel in an environment that has a few of your favorite things in them. So find what you like and make a list of these things, a resources list. This way, you can come back to them when you’re in need of a little cozy.

5. Music & Podcasts

These are essential in living the cozy life. Music has, as far back as I can remember, been a source of joy for me. It’s a great feeling when you put your favorite song on and just float on the rhythm. It’s equally as satisfying when you find a new favorite song. Something you can come back to time and again. The same is true of podcasts as well.

I have a few favorite playlists for days when I’d like to spend some time getting cozy. Here’s a band I’ve been listening to lately that’s been helping me cultivate more comfort. I also enjoy listening to podcasts when the mood strikes. This American Life is one of my favorites. Hearing other peoples stories is comforting. Especially when they align with your own. It’s cathartic to hear how others are handling similar situation and all while hearing a good story 🙂

If you haven’t already, it may be worth your while to explore which songs and artists helps to support cozy and ease in your life. Who are your favorite artists, and do they bring you comfort? I used to listen to a lot of industrial music. Artists like Nine Inch Nails and Ministry were on heavy rotation. These are not relaxing bands, nor do they embody cozy. So if you’re into something a little more heavy, try switching it up to something more light and see what comes up. You never know what you may find that you enjoy.

6. Friends & Family

This is another important one for me, and I imagine most people. Having supportive family and friends around is the difference between feeling lonely and without support, and feeling belonging and a sense of comfort. This is no small thing. It’s important to feel and stay connected to those we love.

I have a list of friends and family that I get in touch with once a week. This way, I’m working to build our relationship, and foster our connection. Otherwise, months could go by and we wouldn’t talk to one another. This was the way I used to be in relationship. I would let weeks or months go by without a word, and just assume that we were still close friends. This however is not the way to foster healthy friendships.

If you’ve been neglecting your relationships as I had, maybe pick a day each week and write a list of people you’d like to keep in touch with. Then send them a text or call them and catch up. I send texts, because it’s easier to juggle more than one conversation at a time and the other person doesn’t feel pressured to respond right away. Pick a time that works for you and start connecting. Even reaching out to people you haven’t spoken to in years. You may be surprised with who gets back to you : )

Make it a Routine

And to help make it stick, try making these habits a routine. For some of the items above, like meals, cleaning and friends and family, I have some time carved out from my day each week to tend to these areas. It helps to know that I have that time and space to get things done, so that they won’t fall through the cracks.

I spent a lot of time neglecting these areas of my life in the past. So if you’re like me, there may be some fear around falling back into old ways of being. But it’s good to remember that these are only fears, and you can choose to be a different person from who you used to be.

Also, there will be times when you fall short, and don’t meet your expectations. It’s important to be forgiving of yourself in these times. We all come up short sometimes. We’re human, it happens. The important part is to remember that it’s okay. We’re not perfect.

I hope this has been of some help to those looking to cultivate more cozy in their lives. Maybe start by taking one thing from this list, or something you already do that makes you feel cozy and incorporate that into your routine. And as you get comfortable, add more things. Pretty soon you’ll be living the cozy life. Peace : ) & thanks for reading.

Image Credits: “Tea Mug Cozy” by KnitStorm is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Childhood Emotional Neglect

Here’s another big topic. Childhood emotional neglect is something that has recently been on my radar. But it’s also something that, when I read about what it is and its effects, I identified with and immediately knew what it was. In the family that I grew up in, we never spoke about emotions. But what I think and feel was so damaging about this was, that when we did have an emotion openly, or displayed an emotional need, it was made known that the person having the emotion was just one more cross to be born by the other.

I would later realize that this was my parents’ inability to establish healthy boundaries around how much they are willing vs. able to give. But as a child, this sent the message that it was not okay for me to have emotions. As though my emotions were a punishment bestowed upon those who were in charge of my well being, and not an aspect of being human.

In this post I’d like to talk a little about what emotional neglect looked like growing up in my family in action. And ways that I’m coming to understand what happened to me and how I’m healing from it. Here’s a link to the site that sparked the inspiration for this post. And also, I’m not a professional, these are only my experiences and opinions. If you’re experiencing difficult emotional states, speaking with a trusted professional therapist or counsellor is advisable.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall…

When I was a child, what I remember most about my family was, that they had one look, one affect. And it was of disapproval. Seldom did my family look on one another with loving and caring gazes. If I was happy, I would get a tentative look in response. As if to say, “I see you’re happy, but are you really happy?” And on top of the confusion of not understanding my family’s responses and lack of mirroring to my emotions, I felt as though there was something wrong with me.

Their constant, judgmental stares reinforcing my deficiency in some way. So every time I had an emotion, I felt compelled to seek my family’s approval. “Is this right? Am I feeling this right?” was how I felt most of the time, in regards to how I was feeling emotionally. This would also play out in my relationships with women, later on in life. More on that later. But with this type, or rather lack of mirroring of emotions, I was left not understanding how I felt about pretty much anything at any given time.

My emotional world was a confusing maze, thanks to the emotional neglect I had been through. And one I had no map to navigate. So I drifted. I floated from one relationship to the next, one set of circumstances to another, without direction. What I was looking for was a place to feel accepted and approved of mostly. I think I was also looking for someone to tell me how to feel. But that was a lesson that was still on its way.

Choosing Relationships not Knowing How I Felt About Them

Relationships are difficult to understand when you don’t know how you feel about them. The best way to describe the experience is, that I was so afraid of not belonging, being accepted, that I was in survival mode for most of my life. Fear was the number one emotion in my world, and something I knew well. So when it came to choosing a relationship, I went along with whomever was going to tell me how and who to be.

Due to my emotional neglect, I had no idea what was expected of me in a relationship. Or even more importantly, I had no idea what made me happy in a relationship. So I chose people who, in no uncertain terms, would tell me how to be accepted by them.

In these relationships, I spent a majority of my time sedated with alcohol while letting my S.O. tell me what she expected from me. I had successfully created a space where I could exist in a sort of half numb state, where I didn’t have to live my life or take responsibility for who I am or my emotions. I was so busy being what everybody else wanted of me and feeling that I was a burden in some way, that I had no idea what I was feeling emotionally or who I was like. This was confusing.

When Fear is the Glue that Binds

And what held me together in my relationships was mostly a sense of fear. Fear of being abandoned and left alone. A fear of being judged bad or not worth being with and feeling shamed for it. The emotional neglect I endured had left me feeling so much fear, that I was paralyzed in my emotional body. Frozen solid. Too afraid to wake into the reality of what my thoughts and feelings were about who I was.

This did not bode well for my relationships. I was acting against my better moral judgement by treating women like sex objects, as well as writing people off while acting incredibly arrogant. And all to make myself seem “acceptable” as a certain type of man. The type of man I had modeled for me and was suggested for me to be, when I was a child. Needless to say, the types of women I was attracting were not women who were best suited to who I actually wanted to be.

Being Sensitive as a Man in a Relationship

Because under the arrogance and pettiness, I was a super sensitive, thoughtful and caring, hopeless romantic, who was terrified of the ways I was behaving. I was rejected by my family, for who I was, so many times that I tried forcing myself to be as they implied and modeled for me. But this was also how I came to be my own abuser.

By freezing and numbing my emotions, while behaving the ways my family did that terrified me as a child, I had become my own abuser. And in turn, I chose women who craved this type of man. Emotionally neglectful and abusive. Time and time again I would choose relationships that left me feeling worse while I was in them. Too afraid to be my sensitive self due to the fear of being rejected or torn apart for having emotions that weren’t “manly”. So I numbed them to fit into the mold of who my S.O., friends and family wanted me to be.

We were repeating the patterns of emotional neglect, from my family, in my romantic relationships. All for the sake of “fitting in” with the people I had come to fear. This was unhealthy. I wish that I could say that there was a defining moment, one where I woke from this fear and started living a life more true to my emotions. But there were some dramatic events that coincided with my awakening.

Waking from the Fear & Emotional Neglect

I drifted through my relationships and most of my life, until I was married in my mid-twenties. Our relationship wasn’t terrible by any means. We were amicable to one another and pleasant most of the time. One day, my now ex-wife came to me and said that we felt more like roommates than a married couple. Looking back now, I understand more clearly what she meant. And she was correct. But I was so numb at the time, that I couldn’t tell the difference.

My family members had acted much the same way as I was acting, so it just seemed natural to me. But what I realize now, what was missing from our relationship was, a felt sense of affection for each other. Sure physical attraction, but more the type where you would lay in bed and talk and cuddle. Being open in emotions and thoughts while being physically close. What I missed when she brought this up was, that these were the questions that would have lead to more intimacy.

But I was much too scared to be intimate in relationship then. I’m only now realizing that intimacy comes after overcoming your fears of being close to another, not before. I first needed to learn to feel safe in relationships with others, before I could be intimate with another. These lessons are usually learned with family in childhood. So in order to feel safe in relationship, I went back to where it all began. To my family.

Safety with & Among Those Closest

After my divorce and the break up of the relationship which immediately followed my marriage, I had no choice but to move back in with family. What made this move so difficult was, that I had been so thoroughly neglected by this family member, I was terrified to get anywhere near them. But I stayed.

I stayed and learned how to take care of myself, but also and more importantly, I learned how to allow myself to be supported by those I was with. I had been so used to do things my way and Feeling Supported By Communicating

And it’s during these interactions where we’re collectively reversing the emotional neglect that we had all experienced in the family. The more often we connect, the more comfortable we all feel with asking each other more and more questions. In the family of my youth, there were no boundaries. Family members would root around in one another’s belongings to try to find something, anything that was being hidden from them.

It turns out that all we were hiding from each other was love and trust. What we wanted to know, we didn’t trust that the other would be honest with us if we asked. Due to us feeling as though we had to be secretive about ourselves and our emotional states for fear of being torn apart. Fast forward to family dinner Fridays and we’re communicating more open and honestly than we ever have.

We’re concerned about each others well being. We share things we find that we think will aid each other. We’re creating community by being honest and open with our emotional states. And this is what we were missing all along. Because we were too afraid to be our authentic, sometimes scared, vulnerable selves around each other, not knowing or realizing that whatever happened we would and could be there to take care of ourselves. Care we could then extend to each other.

Finding Your Connection

I recognize that my situation is unique. Not everybody can go back to a fearful place and make a fresh start. And it was a lot of hard work on my part too. It’s not as though our connection didn’t have its difficulties. But what made it possible to reconnect again was an open mind and staying in the discomfort. Knowing it’s going to be hard but staying anyways, that’s what helped us to create tighter bonds with each other.

Emotional neglect in relationships is not easy to overcome, but it’s also not impossible to either. If you’ve found yourself relating to some of what I’ve written, please seek help. Feeling alone and isolated are two major parts of emotional neglect. And the longer we live with these feelings, the more difficult it is to come back from them. Reaching out to a professional can be a great way to open the door, if only a little bit, to start letting people in again.

Because it is in relationship where we really come alive. The love and trust that we share is life blood to our relationships. And our relationships with each other can be so rewarding. I also find that it helps to think the best of others as well. Not everybody is out for themselves. There are good people out there doing good work. It’s our job to be that person and recognize it in others. Good luck on your journey, and know that you are not alone. Peace & thanks for reading : )

Image Credits: “Broken Mirror” by Rakesh Ashok is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

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